Confession Time

Last night I embarked on a new publicity campaign. As a result I may have several first time readers so I have complied a NAQ list which they may find useful.

What is a NAQ list? A ‘never asked questions’ list.

Do I have to pay to read any of the blog posts? No. I spend hours of my life writing blog posts with no expectation of monetary reward. I am rewarded by positive feedback and a reason for not doing various household tasks.

Do you like getting comments? I love getting comments. If you identify with anything in my posts and would like more information or words of wisdom please ask via the comments. I am happy to offer life coaching with no expectation of monetary reward too.

Should I read the blog posts I have missed? That is entirely up to you. However some stories are linked so you may well gain greater understanding and enjoyment by reading the posts in chronological order beginning with the first one.

Do you ever identify people in your blog? Not by name but you may recognise yourself or someone you know. I use carefully selected alias’.

A new feature for today’s blogpost is The Quiz.

1. Are 10 jaffa cakes better than one?

2. Are 10 Rose’s chocolates better than one?

3. Are Zumba moves easy to do?

4. A spouse sees a banana skin on the worktop and asks “Is this finished with?” Is it more or less likely that in the future the other spouse will put banana skins in the bin?

Answers at the bottom of the page.

Yesterday was a momentous day for me. I left my employment of 6 years, leaving behind a tiny pile of stuff which I had been unable to find a new home for and my two work mugs. Leaving the mugs was not intentional and I am quite annoyed with myself because this oversight will have added to the ‘too many mugs for the cupboard’ problem. On the rare occassions when I emptied the dishwasher, the good feeling I had that I was being a team player and ‘doing my bit’  was always lessened when I had to balance mugs on top of each other in the cupboard. The mug cupboard plays an integral part in my first confession. I’m not proud of what I did but I do feel justified in my actions. People I work with see me as being a nice person and may be shocked by this revelation but I feel now is the right time to confess. One day, a couple of years ago now, a work colleague, A, spoke to me in a way that showed no regard for my feelings. This has happened to me before in life and my reaction is to shrug it off or grumble to myself about the person. This time though an opportunity to engineer a little karma presented itself. As I emptied the dishwasher I spied A’s mug, lifted it up and located it in the far corner of the mug cupboard. I even moved the rarely used mugs out  of the corner to get A’s mug in there! Then I piled all the other mugs from the dishwasher in front of it. Some people may be thinking that it was an immature, petty act but in my mind justice had been done. In fact the sense of rightness I felt did inspire me to use the same strategy on a subsequent occassion, involving a different person. I contemplated using it at least twice more but couldn’t match the mug to the person. Should you find yourself in a similiar situation you may consider employing the same tactic to eleviate feelings of unfairness. I wouldn’t condone over-reaction though. I feel confident that my actions and the actions of those who upset me were evenly balanced. I have never tampered with a colleague’s lunch even though I could match the food in the fridge to the people concerned. 

Another thing which I believe work colleagues are unaware of is my part in the disappearance of 3 tuna wraps from the staffroom. Just a few weeks ago, I called into the staffroom at about 2.30pm and the three wraps, left over from the canteen lunch, were on the table. My good manners dictated that I should eat only one and leave the other two for anyone who had seen them at lunchtime and planned to return to eat one at the end of the working day (3.15pm). My greed, supported by my ‘not bothered’ manners, was stronger and soon the plate was empty. These kind of things make me question my whole perception of myself. I pride myself on being on honest but how can I be when I sneakily eat three tuna wraps at guzzling speed because I know I am cheating others out of an end of day treat? I suppose I just have to accept I do bad things sometimes. Thankfully I am due to leave for my mother’s very soon so I will not have time to share the many other bad things I have done.

Rose’s suggested answers

1.No. You will feel a bit sick after doing it. I’d say enjoyment level peaks at 4 or 5 in one sitting. The novelty of finding different ways to eat them will keep you going past this point. Without accurate written recording you will probably end up repeating some of the ways and then you’ll feel annoyed that the rationale behind your continued consumption is meaningless. Even with written recordings the ways could be well over 10. For instance nibble round edge clockwise then pop whole of middle bit in mouth could be adapted to nibble round edge anti-clockwise then pop whole of middle bit in mouth which could be adapted to nibble round edge clockwise then eat jelly then pop rest in mouth etc etc.

2. No. You will feel a bit sick after doing it. I’d say enjoyment level peaks at 4 or 5 in one sitting. (Extra advice re: Rose’s chocolates. Eat your favourites first. If you save them it is possible family members will eat them while you are out).

3. Some are easier than others. Squatting is quite hard. Focus on what you are good at. So during squat moves ignore instructions like “Stick those bums out as far as you can” and wait for “Make them big” (my bum does this on its own). ‘Skip’ is really really hard. 

4. Less likely. I don’t know a word that describes these semi sarcastic hints and pointless questions that are used to make a point but I do know that such things make people feel got at for rare and minor infringements and then they purposely begin leaving banana skins on the worktop. Even when they get as far as automatically opening the bin lid they remember the pointless question and put the banana skin on the worktop. To support this answer there is evidence that the question “Where are your car keys?”, asked by spouse who doesn’t actually need the keys, leads to car keys never being put in the box that spouse has designated as ‘the box for car keys’. Similarly, tuts and sighs and kicking of shoes left in the hallway leads to even more shoes being left in the hallway.

 

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About stephanieroseishere

My life is amazing on a small scale and I can make it sound super amazing! It is unlikely I'll ever climb Mount Everest but I often navigate the mountain of stuff that accumlates at an alarming rate in various rooms in my house. My household consists of me, my OH (Frodo), my two daughters (D1 and D2) and my son (Son). Recently I read this somewhere “If I make someone smile today then my day has been worthwhile” or something like that. By writing this blog I hope to make many people smile but if only I read it I’ll be smiling anyway. I would love to get your comments and will endeavour to respond to any I get.

4 responses to “Confession Time

  1. Erin

    Best one yet! xxxx

  2. How can I comment when i am still gasping for air? When I read your posts I start with a smile then it develops into a titter and then I have to cover my mouth for most of the post. What is the acronym for covering mouth while laughing uncontrollably?… anyway I finally got to the end and realised that I had run out of air.

    So Jaffa cakes that is easy… definitely eat 10 at a time or of you buy them from Aldi (their’s are the best by far) then why not eat a whole tube/packet. They are sealed in for freshness after all!
    Re. the banana skin conundrum. Yes you are completely sane ( just like me!)

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